I’m off to Byron Bay with a three of my besties this weekend, and I was thinking how easy it was to travel with them. We’ve been friends for a long time and there’s a lotta love.
We also operate under The Sherry Pact.
The Sherry Pact is sacred. It fundamentally removes that need to sacrifice your truth for the sake of going with the flow or accommodating, appeasing or placating friends.
The Sherry Pact was passed to me from my sage – Carole (my Mum).
Carole met her best friend Heather over 45 years when they had five young children between them. As five grew to seven (5 boys and 2 girls) they depended on each other for their sheer sanity!
As the years passed and their broods grew, Carole and Heather used their newfound freedom to have lunch together on Saturdays. They were so excited to have their freedom and independence back that when they finished lunch and Carole dropped Heather off, neither were ready to go back to reality.
So, Heather asked Carole if she’d stay for a glass of sherry. Carole, not keen on sherry but not wanting to disappoint her friend, obliged. She drank one glass and nearly hurled but smiled and agreed to lunch the next Saturday.
After lunch, Heather offered Carole a sherry, and knowing Heather enjoyed her tipple, said yes…. And so it went on… for YEARS.
Carole got to a point in their Saturday post lunch drop off dynamic that there was no way of letting Heather know she hated sherry.
‘Surely’, she thought, ‘I can stomach this once a week to make my friend happy? ‘
Thirty years later, Carole couldn’t take any more post lunch sherry. She had an awesome idea. When arriving at Heather’s and being offered a sherry, she counter offered a lovely bottle of champagne to celebrate Heather’s birthday instead. Bingo – Heather was thrilled (and so was Carole).
As they downed the bottle, Carole confessed she loved seeing Heather but she actually couldn’t stand the post lunch sherry and suggested they drink champagne instead.
Heather was stunned!
She couldn’t stand sherry either and was only buying it and drinking it because Carole liked it!
“Why did you think I liked it?” exclaimed Carole
“Because years ago I had nothing in the house to offer you after lunch but some cooking sherry and you seemed to jump at it” she said.
“Only because I wanted to stay chatting awhile and thought you wanted a glass of sherry and I didn’t want to disappoint you” offered Carole.
They both realised that for over thirty years they’d both nearly hurled every Saturday to please each other and never, ever, expressed the truth for fear of upsetting the other.
So they promised, from that day forward, they operated under The Sherry Pact - to never, ever compromise..
And so, it’s passed on and I’ve introduced my friends to the sacred Sherry Pact.
So under The Sherry Pact this weekend, we’ll have a blast knowing we can say exactly what we need and be honoured and loved.
Moral to the story is – your friends will enjoy you more if they know what you need and love.
Long live The Sherry Pact!!
Operating under the sherry pact gives me a sense of freedom to be truly myself. It is amazingly refreshing to be 100% honest and able to say “actually no, I’ve changed my mind or honestly I can’t be arsed”. I don’t feel any weight of obligation and I genuinely look forward to sharing time with my friends. Its a blessing to have this kind of love, respect and friendship in my life. And, I count down the sleeps till I see them.
Beautifully put KJ. I can’t imagine my life via obligation with friends and loved ones. The Sherry Pact can be like ripping a band aid off – a little uncomfortable at the time but a sore can heal and not fester underneath.
Can’t WAIT to drink champagne with you xx
Nice one sista xxx
What a great story! Thanks
Thanks Rebecca, it’s one of those stories that pops into your head just when you need it.
It applies to so many situations too – happy you liked it.
Nik
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