You blame him or her for all your suffering.
But by looking deeply, you may realise that the seed of anger in you is the main cause of your suffering.
Many other people, confronted with the same situation, would not get angry like you.
They hear the same words, they see the same situation, and yet they are able to stay calm and not be carried away.
Why do you get angry so easily? You may get angry very easily because your seed of anger is too strong.
And because you have not practiced the methods for taking good care of your anger, the seed has been watered too often in the past.
All of us have a seed of anger in the depth of our consciousness. But in some of us, that seed of anger is bigger than our other seeds-like love or compassion.
The seed of anger may be bigger because we have not practiced in the past.
When we begin to cultivate the energy of mindfulness, the first insight we have is that the main cause of our suffering, of our misery, is not the other person it is the seed of anger in us.
Then we will stop blaming the other person for causing all our suffering.
We realise she or he is only a secondary cause.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh